W27 Diary about Shawn Michaels!!! Oh yeah!

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Wrestlemania 27 match by match

World Heavyweight Champion Match Edge v Alberto del Rio

I’m rooting for Edge. I like Edge a lot especially when he’s being douche. So I want Edge to win and be douchey about it. I was overcome with happiness when Edge and Christian appeared together on RAW this past Monday. It was the first time in 6 years! Basically, I want Edge to win and then come back to RAW bringing Christian with him. K, thanks.

WWE Champion The Miz vs John Cena

I hate The Miz. As stated previously, he is nawesome. NOT AWESOME. I am not a big John Cena fan, and certainly can’t be a fan of his homophobic statements in the past. That being said, at the last RAW event Amber and I attended there was this super cool 9 year old next to me. He called Snooki an Oompa Loompa and yelled at The Miz that St. Louis hates him. Well, this rad little dude was a John Cena fan. So I’m going to cheer for Cena in his honor.

But seriously, Cena, we CAN see you. Are you like part ostrich?!

The Undertaker vs Triple H

I will cry if this match really ends either one of their careers. My top 3 wrestlers are #1. Shawn Michaels and then I’ve considered Triple H and The Undertaker to tie for second. I mean Triple H is just freaking awesome, and The Undertaker is so good at just being scary. Plus, he’s like 7’ tall and could walk on the top rope! That’s badass. Let us not forget his casket matches. I mean if anyone builds you a casket that’s just freaky scary. Undertaker is so awesome.

My love for DX, originally started by HBK and HHH, has determined who I am cheering for in the end. Triple H has to win. It kills me that HBK had to retire from just this kind of match. Undertaker, as badass as you are, you cannot end the careers of both HBK and HHH. But please don’t retire if you lose. Please.

Finally, I believe all 3 of these men have a large amount of respect for each other. Triple H and Shawn Michaels are best friends. The Undertaker, Triple H, and HBK all said some really respectful stuff about each other last Monday. I want Shawn to stand by Triple H at Wrestlemania. I still believe he will. You should never run out of the ring and leave your best friend just standing there!!

Triple H. You’re my choice. I ordered the grey shirt you’ve worn the past couple weeks. I will probably wear it all Sunday and Monday assuming it gets here on time.

“You make the rules, and we will break them.” –DX. A good DX quote goes a long way.

Randy Orton vs CM Punk

During this match I want the ring to become a molten pit of lava. Except this lava is also super acidic and will melt the both of these guys into some unrecognizable goop. I really super dislike CM Punk and Randy Orton. RKO, you should NOT hear voices in your head. And why must you snort and drool and whatnot? That’s gross. It looks like you have a really bad respiratory infection. Also please please stop with that awful song about the voices. I refuse to make light of psychological disorders, and you clearly don’t have one. You’re just dumb. CM Punk, you need to wear more substantial bottoms. Your current choice makes me uncomfortable. Amber has some serious beef with you so I’m going to leave that to her. Just know I hate you.

John Morrison, Trish Stratus & Snooki vs Dolph Ziggler & Lay Cool

I am quite torn by this. I want good things for Trish Stratus, and don’t like Lay Cool. Sadly, Snooki needs to get away from my WWE. The WWE has a bad enough reputation without allowing Jersey Shore cast members on the show. Also, I’m mad that the Jersey Shore is going to Italy! Ugh, MTV do not expose the poor people of Italy to these greasy orange binge drinkers. That’s not the point of this blog, but I want Snooki to lose and get off wrestling. She doesn’t need to be on RAW any more than The Situation needs to be Comedy Central. But seriously, that was so bad that you have to see it. Google what that idiot said at the Donald Trump Roast. OK, so in conclusion, I won’t go as far as saying I want Lay Cool & Dolph Ziggler to win. I want to Trish to win, but I want Snooki to lose more. So many mixed feelings!

United States Champion Sheamus vs Daniel Bryan

I don’t have strong feelings about this match. Basically, Sheamus creeps me out so I’m going to cheer for Daniel Bryan. Although, if I were watching Wrestlemania I would use this match as a good time to get more snacks/beer.

Eight-Man Tag Team Match

Big Show, Kane, Vladimir Kozlov & Santino Marella have to win. Big Show and Kane!!! The other 2 aren’t bad either, but Kane and the Big Show!

Wrestlemania!!!

Hey jerks,

Just kidding. You're probably not all jerks. My name is Mel, and I am jerk. A lovable jerk.

Anyway, I've always wanted a blog. Most of my ideas have failed due to lack of effort on my part. I also generally lack events in my life worth blogging about. I mean I have interests for Pete's sake, but honestly there are people much better equipped to write about music, politics, and food. I approach music with a Awesome or Not Awesome stamp. My politics are best explained by Jon Stewart on The Daily Show. And I eat way too many Lean Pockets to ever really food blog. Now, the solution is apparent. I shall write about wrestling. I will try to write the majority of these posts from beneath my WWE comforter featuring Triple H (AWESOME!), The Undertaker (AWESOME!), and John Cena (Can't win 'em all. . .).

By tomorrow I hope to post my predictions, hopes, and fears regarding Wrestlemania 27. I'm still crying into my beers at night because I can't find a public place to watch it, and I can't afford to order the PPV by myself. Which brings me to another important point: UFC sucks. Stop showing this crap in bars, restaurants, public places with giant TVs. Stupid UFC! These places used to carry my beloved wrestling programs.

El Fin.

WRESTLEMANIA 27, BITCHES.

Everyone is very excited. I am mostly excited because STONE COLD IS COMING BACK AND I HOPE HE STUNS STUPID MICHAEL COLE AND THAT DUMBASS JACK SWAGGER (Honestly, Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler are sort of interchangeable in my opinion. It's just like one douche alert after another, except one follows Vickie around, while the other is being put in the spotlight because of Michael Cole. And I have to tell you... if your career's current highpoint is being partnered with Michael Cole, you need to re-evaluate your life and job. Srsly.) I will be in Atlanta for the blessed event, but not in attendance. I will be at RAW the following night, though, to see comments from the loser of the HHH/Undertaker epic face off. We will all be partying in honor of the introduction of Shawn Michaels into the WWE Hall of Fame. Mel and I will be particularly excited, because we will think of/comment on the five jerkoffs that sat in front of us at the last RAW we went to in St. Louis. They apparently hate Shawn Michaels. Also on their hate list: kittens, baby Jesus, and action figures.

I am moving off point. Anyway, we will be profiling our favorite matches and choosing sides. Obviously, I want Triple H to beat the Undertaker. Even though The Undertaker is my 3rd favorite wrestler of all time, my love for Triple H trumps my love for the streak. I'm also hoping The Miz tries to come out for some odd reason and gets pummeled by them both, leading to a giant hug between HHH and Taker, and perhaps some skipping off to a bar that I'm frequenting at that time. Shut up; a girl can dream.

Getting things started.

We (Amber and Mel) are gathered here today at this blog to convey our feelings about the WWE and the wrestling talent (and lack thereof) that it employs. We are highly qualified to discuss and complain about wrestling, as we have both been fans since we were young (I myself have been watching since I was eleven, much to my mother's dismay), have been to many live events, sported many wrestling t-shirts, purchased and re-watched hours upon hours of old wrestling videos, and have consumed an uncountable amount of beers between us. And one time CM Punk told me to shut up. I really love that story.

Anyway, Mel and I are notorious procrastinators, so it might take a bit for us to get up and running completely. But, complaining about and getting excited over wrestling are two things that we do best, along with being best friends, talking smack in bars and consuming awesome amounts of booze. Over the next few days, we will be getting our blog together so that we can keep track of how much we love DX (Triple H is my favorite wrestler, Shawn Michaels is Mel's - just so we've got that out of the way) and how much we wish The Miz would fall and injure his vocal chords so that he couldn't torture us anymore with his long winded speeches about how nawesome he is. Also, we should also state that we aren't fans of Randy Orton or CM Punk - which tends to put us in binds at WWE Events, as we are located in the middle of St. Louis and Chicago.

But, we don't care! If you kick our favorite wrestlers and their families in the head or you don't drink beer, you've lost your chance to be wrestlers that we truly love.